Posts Tagged ‘Tolerance’
Have you ever got the sense that your partner thinks he or she is generally superior to you, or more entitled to things than you are? Does he or she find a multitude of ways to devalue you or ignore you? Does he or he try to control you? If so, you may be living with a Narcissist.
Narcissism is considered a spectrum Disorder, which means that there are degrees of manifestation of the characteristics, so a person could have a couple of Narcissistic traits, right through to many or all, which means they would be closer to a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, as defined in the DSMIV.
Generally speaking, Narcissism is a condition of an Inflated False Self, which gives him or her a strong sense of self importance and a grandiose image of himself. He enters into relationships entirely for the purpose of keeping his grandiosity reinforced, as a source of Narcissistic supply for himself. He will idealise those who mirror this for him and devalue anyone as soon as they don t. There is a real lack of genuine empathy for, or real interest in others, and a massive denial of his own problems, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities.
How did you become a willing victim? Why you?
If you find yourself in a relationship with a Narcissist, at some stage you might wonder why you? What does this say about you, your tolerance for pain and your sanity?
It is true that there is a particular kind of person that finds themself with a Narcissist, at least often well beyond the first indication that there is an underlying nastiness in him.
The kind of person who seems to unwittingly attract a Narcissist is someone who has Borderline characteristics, (which has also been referred to as Co-dependent or compliant) and has a deflated false self.
In Transactional Analysis terms, a Narcissist s underlying Life position is I m Ok, You re Not OK, whereas a Borderline s underlying Life Position is I m Not OK, You re OK.
Interestingly, a Borderline s profile is less defended that the Narcissist, and less destructive to others, and therefore closer to achieving a healthy relationship, if you can gain true insight into what is happening and what is going wrong in your relationships and be able to develop a stronger identity and boundaries.
Can our relationship be helped?
If both you and your partner are committed to make your relationship a healthy and happy one, then I believe this is worth working on.
Finding a Psychologist who is familiar and experienced with these conditions is important as Narcissism can be notoriously difficult to pick up in a few sessions if the Psychologist is not trained in this. (Education on Narcissism is taught in Psychology courses but does not fully explain the widespread occurrence of this condition, and also the full ramifications of this, particularly to the partner. We at the Hart Centre are committed to ongoing training in these areas and in supporting you in managing yourself and your relationships.)
The success of relationship counselling and marriage counselling depends on many factors, but is largely due to the commitment of both partners to see their patterns and contributions, and be willing to change.
You will often not know how willing you and your partner are to do this until you attempt to do so. You will be able to see for yourselves over 3 to 6 sessions what real effort each of you are putting in to see the problems, own your contributions and make changes.
We can also support you if you have decided to leave your Narcissistic partner, and want help and assistance in rebuilding your life.
The Hart Centre has 54 centres for relationship and marriage counselling around Australia, so you will most probably find one close to you. You will find our Sydney relationship counselling centres in 15 different locations in Sydney, both in the CBD and suburbs. In Adelaide we have relationship and marriage counselling centres in 5 locations across Adelaide. Phone 1300830552 to speak to our friendly receptionists.
For relationship counselling Sydney and marriage counselling Sydney contact the Hart Center. The Hart Center can also help with marriage counselling Adelaide.
Take control of getting your site created by a developer and understand the process it will save you money and gain you a site that actually works the intended purpose!
1. Understanding your business and how you are currently established in your market.
In order to establish a site that truly meets your requirements; you first need to have a full understanding of your business including your products, and/or services and more importantly their market position. You then have to consider how you want to explain your business and what it offers in 7 seconds or less. Sounds impossible? Well that is the average time that a user will consider the point “is this site I searched for?”.
2. Budget and estimation
Have a budget in mind and don’t be afraid to let the developers know what it is. In saying this: BE REALISTIC, $500 will never see a great web site created, nor will they be anything left in the bank to market it.
3. The creative process
Be furnished with example sites and more importantly the elements of the site you like so they can attain an understanding of what you would like to see on your site and also what you find frustrating about other sites. This will build a good profile and analyze not only what type of site to construct for you but your tolerance to colours, animations, layouts etc. for your requirements which will allow for efficient development. The more interaction and information you allow them in the beginning the more time you will save everybody in the long run by becoming what you want 1st time round. Check with the designers on how many rounds of changes come with the contract, most will allow for a total conceptual redesign only once and 2 rounds of changes after that.
4. Production and Content
After the home page design is created, the developers will more than likely take the general layout of this concept and then create the inner page template. It is this template that will be repeated for most of your pages for your site.
Provide your content in a pre-proofed word processed document; don’t get too creative with the document fonts etc. as these will not be preserved when the content is copied into the code of the site. It is suggested that you do use bolding, underlining, headings and sub heading though ,as these highlights are transferred into the site and are essential later on in not only getting the point across to the reader but for Search Engine Optimisation.
One last tip for content; present a decent amount of content but provide it in a way that a reader may accomplish a summary of what you are trying to get across in the 1st couple of paragraphs and an image or to. The rest of the paragraphs that get into finer details ARE FOR GOOGLE !
5. Development Programming and CMS
If your website contains Content Managed Areas (CMS) or has any other dynamic sections the developers will wrap your design around a content management program such as Joomla or Drupal or they may have a custom built system. Make sure that you get to see how the CMS system works on another site they have developed or an example site they may have. it is essential that you know that you can utilize and know the system when your site is complete.
6. Testing and training
We work closely with the developers to test your site especially if there are any CMS or special programs that have been made for you. You can guarantee if it is has just been written for you then it will not work 100% first time round. This is a where things can get ugly in the process you must understand the way the program works and test it as if you were normal website user. If it doesn’t make sense to you, odds are it won’t make sense to your audience. Make sure you test your website on more than just your browser, try to test it on Internet Explorer, Firefox and Safari. All of these browsers are avialable on the internet for free!
7. Launch – going live
When the developers are ready to bring your site live make sure you have finished the above testing step until you are certain that this website is the best representation of your business / product it can be. Remember even though you can change things after going live it is still a poor reflection on your business if there are spelling mistakes or broken images when you launch.
8. Marketing
There is little point in having a website if nobody visits it, make sure as part of you contract you have discussed search engine optimisation and or search engine marketing as part of your website build. This is the absolute most important factor of the whole process. If you are the only one looking at your site then you are in trouble.Remember Search Engine Optimisation is about 30% Onsite (getting your site correct for Search Engine to index correctly) and 70% Promotion. Any developer who tells you otherwise hasn’t been in the industry too long.
For more information about web design, contact Web Site Blue. Our web designers understand marketing as well as design.